Taking Part in the Pregnancy
During a pregnancy, partners can feel left out, only the pregnant woman feels the changes in her body day to day. Sometimes it can feel as if the only way that the partner can take part in the pregnancy is to accompany the pregnant woman to her appointments and read books about pregnancy. However there are a number of ways in which the partner can participate in the pregnancy, including: massage, acupressure and hypnobirthing.
Books and internet sites exist to teach these methods, however they are best taught face to face.
Through the Pregnancy
Massage can be taught to partners to perform through the pregnancy and also to birth partners for help through the labour. Massage throughout the pregnancy can help with back-ache, leg cramps and relaxation, it can also help encourage a relaxed intimacy throughout the pregnancy. A lesson with a massage therapist can help with comfortable positions and useful massage strokes, and how they should be changed through the pregnancy.
Acupressure can be used to help maintain health throughout the pregnancy. It can be of particular use for morning sickness, relaxation, a number of issues immediately before the birth and during the first few weeks of parenthood. An acupuncturist can teach the use of simple, but useful, acupressure points, this is of most use if both the pregnant woman and the partner are there.
For Birthing Partners
Evidence shows that the support of a birth partner improves the outcome of both the mother and child. A supportive birth partner reduces the need for pharmacological pain relief, and decreases the likelihood of medical intervention during the birth (such as forceps or caesarean section). There is also evidence to suggest birth partners can help reduce the overall length of labour. This support can be in the form of emotional encouragement, silent support, practical touch (such as massage) or looking after the woman’s physical needs (fetching water or keeping her cool with cold flannels). Simply providing a sense of safety by being there can also have a deeply supportive affect.
Every woman will have different ideas of what she needs from her birthing partner and these needs will change throughout labour. It is important that partners listen and respond, as these needs change; sometimes touch will be greatly welcomed, at other times women may find touch distracting and reject it as they need silence to focus. Partners themselves need to make sure they are prepared and know the limits of their own comfort zone, for some staying at the women’s head level is a good way of avoiding seeing things they may not be comfortable with.
Hypnobirthing is recognised by many midwives as being useful during labour. A series of lessons take place with both the pregnant woman and the partner. Practice between the lessons is well worth the effort.
Massage and acupressure can be of great use at this time, especially if performed by someone close to you, who you can fully relax with. If you are planning to use either of these techniques during the childbirth make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to practice beforehand, so that you are relaxed and comfortable with all possibilities.
If the birth plan includes using natural remedies, such as essential oils, herbs or homeopathic remedies it will be the birth partner that is incharge of these remedies. Make sure that you understand what they are all for before labour starts, and discuss their use with the prospective mother. You do not want to be looking up in a book, or asking a woman in labour, whether now is the best time to use lavender or clary sage!
Despite all intricate plans, the birth may not go the way you envisioned it. This may not only be because of medical intervention, but sometimes expectant mothers want something completely different once the labour starts. As a birth partner remember to be flexible; and don’t be upset if, after months of practice, massage during the labour is completely rejected. Just make sure that you enjoy the practicing!
Looking After Yourself
It is important that the partner does not ignore their own health for the sake of their pregnant partner. A good example of this would be a birthing partner hurting themself while trying to massage their partner in an awkward position during labour. Alexander technique lessons will help you treat your partner without hurting yourself.
Complementary therapies can be used to help treat many conditions. For instance massage can be used to help resolve a long term back pain before a child, and all the demands accompanying it, enters the household.